I'm gonna be real with ya'll. My week has been a hot pile of shit.
This retrograde been draggin' my ass through the mud. I fight it, but it feels like life takes me down three more notches every damn time.
I'm Hurt. Exhausted. Drained.
Maybe you believed you had surrounded yourself with solid people, but a lot of them fell through. Maybe you had a plan for this year or the next month, but plans fall through. Maybe you're going through some shit and you feel all alone.
We all pray for growth, but we throw a shit fit at the growing pains. Certain things that served you in your past will not continue to serve you where I'm headed. And sometimes we need to recognize that and adapt, instead of asking "why me?".
UGH. It's way easier to throw a shit fit, right?
I saw this quote after a trash-ass day and it helped me gain perspective. Sometimes you just have to focus on the good. I'm not saying you have to be blindly optimistic, either. You can acknowledge the bad, and hold space for those feelings. You just cannot allow yourself to stay there.
To help me get out of my own damn head, I make lists of the good things I experienced. Take it as a way of subverting your own narrative of certain times in your life. You have control over your own narrative. Remember that.
So indulge me as I share some of the good things from this week:
1. I bought a new car!!!
2. I caught up on sleep
3. I cleaned my whole house (angrily, but that's besides the point)
4. I made yummy food at home.
5. I found out people's true colors. Now i know who is truly A1 and who I can respectfully distance myself from
6. I woke up every single day, saw the sun, and drew breath yet again.
So yeah, setting boundaries and preserving my peace and subverting my own narrative and all that jazz. Sometimes, the very thing we need to feel better is for us to keep showing up for ourselves, even if we're the only one showing up.
As always, All the LOVE and LIGHT.
Amanda
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